i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
