Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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