Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
