He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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