i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I had to cum in my sink.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
