didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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