Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
