Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
