areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
