i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Randomize
