I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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