That's intense
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Randomize
