I swear she didn't look like that last week.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
i believe in u and ur pee
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
