it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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