I think I just saw someone hide a body.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
