I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
