I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
