Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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