he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Is it penis luge time yet?
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
