i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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