hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Randomize
