I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Randomize
