Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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