The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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