I'm going to jail i love you
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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