I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
