all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Randomize
