Whoa Z and x make the same sound
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Randomize
