Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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