Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
