Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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