You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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