where am i from again
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Randomize
