He disabled his match.com account in front of me
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Found the puke drawer
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
