So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize
