lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Randomize
