I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
