Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Randomize
