gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
