He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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