have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
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