I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
