So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
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