My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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