Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
