Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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