just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Randomize
