I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
