Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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