If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
